yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
