I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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