why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize
