My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
please don't ironically join a cult
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