I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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