What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize