We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
