He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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