i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
