So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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