we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
