i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
