Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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