Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
