so that wasnt chicken after all
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
