I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
worst night to have a conscience
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize