I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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