I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize