OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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