GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
