how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
