If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Too much gin, very little bucket
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Everyone says I win the strip club
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
