i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
