I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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