Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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