i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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