Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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