why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
