I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize