You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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