Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
My dad just said "fuck circus"
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
