I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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