She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
