i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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