Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
