I'm so fucking centered right now
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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