When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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