fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
