After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
