I wanna bring you to show and tell
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize