If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
