Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
