So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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