is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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