He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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