Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
