Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
She has the best kind of daddy issues
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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