the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize