I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
