Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
