you're like a bully in the Christmas story
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
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