someone get that fucking seahorse.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
