fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
