I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
