it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize