OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
honey bunches of taint.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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