My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
