And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
