I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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