you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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