The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
