Plan B is the new Plan A
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
