Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
