I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
